Alitalia crash reveals dead bodies in the closet

The crashed "Alitalia" plane as it looked on Saturday

Last Saturday night, a plane crashed at Fiumicino (FCO), Rome's main airport. The initial news reports mentioned "an Alitalia flight from Pisa to Rome, veering off the runway after landing in strong winds".

Already from that moment, I was a bit surprised: I live 5 miles from the landing strip, and the wind was not unusually strong. Luckily only one person was seriously injured. But surprise: it was a flight attendent who was apparently not strapped in. Why would a flight attendant not be strapped in, during landing in strong winds?

And within hours, a more obscure story came up: While the plane had the colours and insignia from Alitalia, Italy's national carrier, and had an Alitalia flight number, it had nothing to do with Alitalia. The plane was not only operated by Carpatair, an obscure Romanian budget airline, with a Romanian crew, but was also owned by that same obscure airline. The plane itself was actually registered in Romania, and not in Italy, as Alitalia planes normally are...

More suspicion came in when I saw this Carpatair press release (.PDF):

The forcasted (sic) winds in FCO were in the limits for the ATR as aircraft type as well as those of Carpatair. Windshear predicition (sic) information was not available in the in the (sic) reports regarding actual weather and forecstaed (sic) meteorological conditions given to the crew before the flight, it was not mentioned to the pilots in the weather updates info through the ATIS (actual weather special radio frequency) during the flight or by on the tower (sic) frequency before landing

I am a firm believer that small details often reveal a full picture. A sloppy press release full of spelling/grammatical errors, puts Carpatair in the category of "duct tape and shoe lace"-airlines, in my book.
Now beyond that, what are they trying to say: that their ATR-72 aircraft should not have been flying in this weather, but nobody informed them? I smell rotten fish.

So here is my question: Explain why this is not plain fraud? While code sharing and the practice of "flights of one airline being operated by another", is common practice, in this case, there is absolutely nothing that ties this flight to Alitalia. Except the flight number.

And of course, less than 24 hours after the crash, the plane was neatly repainted, hiding all references to Alitalia.

The "Alitalia" plane, one day after the crash

Smell the dead bodies in the closet? Next thing we will hear is that a Moldovian hooker was giving the captain a blow job at the time of the crash, like with the Italian Costa Concordia cruise ship, which ran aground off the coast almost exactly a year ago...


Pictures courtesy Daily Mail and EPA.

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Don't worry. I am putting my life in your hands at least once per month

A significant and self explanatory error message popped up when I wanted to send an email to Brussels Airline using their website.

Why do things like that always remind me of the "relativity of flying"?

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Viva Alitalia - This is why the pope kisses the ground after a flight

As part of the series The Flying Fun on The Road, here is an interesting event to further relativate the "Science of Flying".

When we landed with an Alitalia Airbus A321 last Sunday, the cabin sound and light installation went completely bezerk for the whole of the 20 minutes we were taxiing to our gate. Both the rhythmic flickering and rapping beat in the speakers made it look and feel like a night at the disco.

I imagined one of the flight attendants coming from the back rapping to the tunes of Cobra Starship:

I have had it with these motherf**king snakes
on this motherf**king plane! (oh-ah)

Times are strange (ho-ho)
We got a free upgrade for
snakes on a plane. (ho-ho)
F**k 'em, I don't care. (ho)
Bought the cheap champagne, (ho)
we're going down in flames, hey. (hey,hey)

Oh, I'm ready for it (ho-ho)
Come on, bring it. (ho-ho)
Oh, I'm ready for it (ho-ho)
Come on, bring it. (ho-ho)

But none did. There was no announcement to apologize -leave alone explain-, and no reaction from the flight attendants other than a chuckle.

I guess the fact we were already on the ground, made things a bit "lighter" for all. I wonder how people would have felt if this were to happen in mid-flight. Would they still joke "Ahhhhlitalia"?

Or is this how a cabin looks like before things really start to go wrong...

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Not to worry, your life is in good hands

Not that recent of news, but I only discovered it now: On Feb.16, one of New York's JFK's air traffic controllers thought it would be a great idea to have his kid take control of the microphone. (Full)

Show the relativity of flying. Reminds me of an old joke.

On the speaker of jet just after take-off:

Ladies and Gentlemen, we just took off from JFK airport and are on our route to London Heathrow. This is the first commercial flight entirely controlled by computers.

Having no pilots aboard not only provides cheap tickets, but also avoids human errors, so we are quite enthusiastic about this new development in commercial flights.

We are aware this might feel a bit awkward for some of you, thus we will be providing free drinks for all during the entire flight.

And for the rest, be assured, nothing can go wrong (tick)
nothing can go wrong (tick)
nothing can go wronnnnnnnnngg ongggg ongggg ongggg (tick)
nothing cacaacacacaacacaccc ccc ccc ccc(fade)

More about flying on The Road.
Video via Airboyd.TV

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Computers will always be... computers - Brussels Airport version

One of the attractions of Brussels airport is a long series of computer screens showing a real time temperature scan of the people passing by on the rolling carpet. Publicity for one of the electricity companies of our united state.

Unfortunately, computers will always remain... computers:

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Travelling by plane

There is not much to say about most aeroplane journeys. Anything remarkable must be disastrous, so you define a good flight by negatives: you didn't get hijacked, you didn't crash, you didn't throw up, you weren't late, you weren't nauseated by the food. So you are grateful.
The gratitude brings such relief your mind goes blank, which is appropriate, for the aeroplane passenger is a time-traveller. He crawls into a carpeted tube that is reeking of disinfectant; he strapped in to go home, or away. Time is truncated, or in any case warped. (..) And from the moment he departs, his mind is focused on arrival.

Paul Theroux

in "The old Patagonian Express"

I thought of that quote yesterday. After spending five hours in transit at Madrid's airport before boarding. A group of 150 seven-graders from Portugal boarded just in front of me, all excited about their one week trip to Rome. I loved their excitement and aggitation. Kids should have fun, so I put on my headset, and fell asleep the moment I got in my seat.
Only to wake up half an hour later, in the midst of a school play ground. The boys and girls were running up and down, even though the "fasten seat belts" sign was on, calling the flight attendants for yet another coke or Mars bar.

I thought we were already in the air, half way to Rome, but we had not moved an inch. And we did not move an inch for three hours, unable to take off due to traffic congestion, it seemed later. Not that the captain was eager to announce anything. We just sat there. Except for the kids. They were not sleepy as I was. True, I had just flown through the night, and had been awake for 36 hours, but then again, I thought they'd been settling down after a few hours. But they did not.

It was strange to see how the other passengers reacted. The noise was that of a kids' birthday party, and so was the agitation and the running around. Kids love kids parties. Adults not. So, most other people switched off. At best, some would get up to stretch their legs, still with a blank stare focused on the horizon. One guy started to play cards with them. Only two passengers got excited. "Che casino, questi ragazzi! Calma, per favore, calma!" shouted an Italian passenger. And it was "piu calma" for five minutes straight.

I was glad to arrive in Rome, where we got stuck for another hour waiting for the transit buses to arrive. And for the luggage to arrive. When I finally opened the door of my apartment, I sighed with relief. I can't wait until time and space travel finally becomes reality. We just step into a tube, and "zwoop", we arrive where we need to be. From the hotel lobby in Santo Domingo to my apartment in Rome. "Zwoop". Hopefully by the time we can warp into time and space, it will be immune to volcanic dust.

But probably the kids would not enjoy warping that much. They enjoy the travel. I envied them.

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Volcanic ash

So there we were in North Italy, looking at a computer screen with the latest reports of the volcanic ash spreading over Europe.... We were to drive back to Belgium on Saturday, and on Sunday I was to take a flight back to Rome. On Tuesday morning, I am scheduled to fly from Rome, back to the Dominican Republic.

On Friday, the airspace above most of Northern Europe was closed. Just to be on the safe side, we decided Tine would drive back to Belgium with the kids, and I would take a flight from Bolzano to Rome, just to make sure I would be back in time for my flight to the Dominican. I booked the flight to Rome in the evening.

On Saturday morning, the hotel owner told me all flights from North Italy would be cancelled too, so I booked a rental car from Bolzano airport. By the time we got to the airport, they confirmed all flights out of Bolzano were cancelled. There were already people sitting around the airport trying to figure out what to do. A couple trying to get back to England, were to take the train to Munich, and then... "Well, once in Munich, we will see how we can get to one of the Channel crossing points", they said. I drove the 400 miles to Rome and Tine drove the 600 miles to Belgium.

Arriving in Rome, I dropped the car at the Hertz office in Fiumicino airport. I took a look around the airport, and seeing all the flight cancellations, and the hundreds of people queueing up to rebook their flights, it looked like we took the right decision to drive.

By the time I got in my apartment and had a look on the Internet, Brussels Airlines had already cancelled all flights until Monday... at least. We will see if I can fly to the Dominican on Tuesday. It seems the volcanic ash cloud is spreading all the way to Rome now...

On Humanitarian News, you can find the latest news articles on the volcanic ash spreading.

The NY Times has a good overview on the EU airport status.

As many airport and airline websites are melting under the heavy traffic, to track flights, and flights' status, use FlightStats instead.

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Here's airport security for you

It reminds me of Islamabad airport. Back in 2001, I passed security and I saw a weird reflection of the screen on the glasses of the security officer.

I glanced over his back and sure enough, the guy was looking at a screen full of moving snow particles, with a rolling picture, just like a badly tuned TV screen. No view of the xray'd material, though.

And that was at the height of the worldwide airport security increase after 9/11.

Picture via Fail Blog

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Security amiss: Firecrackers on plane and pope attacked

Further to my post about how security all boils down to "the people who implement it", rather that to "the systems themselves":

The pope was attacked at the start of the midnight Christmas mass, and someone set off firecrackers aboard a US transatlantic plane..

Lunatics in both cases, I am sure. But what if the intent was more serious?

Update:
It seems the fire cracker guy was serious, and it was an attempt to blow up the plane. To make everyone feel comfortable: US officials confirmed he was on a terrorist watchlist.

Cartoon courtesy Bob Englehart/The Hartford Courant (via The Moderate Voice)

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More about challenging landing strips

In addition to my posts The World's 10 Most Dangerous air strips and There are moments you just have to trust the pilot, I think we should add this airstrip: Juneau Alaska (picture taken on the single clear day of a year probably)... Mountains, ice cold water, and a runway with a definite end...

Picture courtesy Randy's blog

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O'Hare airport must like Italian soccer

Received this email today.

We are proud to announce the launch of the new Chicago O'Hare International Airport website www.ohare-airport.org. It provides comprehensive real time flight information on arrivals, departures and delays, terminals and maps, parking, transportation, directions, food and shopping, hotels, etc.

If you find our website to be of value to you and your readers, we would appreciate it if you could add a link to us at your URL Italian Soccer and flight delays where, in our opinion, it would be the most relevant. (..)

If you have any questions, please, do not hesitate to contact us. Thank you for your time and consideration.

Kind regards,

Natalia Klimovich
Website Administrator
www.ohare-airport.org

I am not too sure how Natalia relates O'Hare airport with my rambling about flight delays in an Italian provincial airport due to the fact everyone was watching their national soccer team on TV... Maybe she has a good sense of humour. Or likes soccer.

Or maybe O'Hare will also decide to delay all flights during the Play-offs.

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Swine flu: Air travel spreads the virus

More on The Road about Swineflu

Picture courtesy Flightstory Aviation Blog

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Caterpillar, built to last

The good news is that the lady at the check-in was too busy on the phone to notice I had two carry-ons: a computer bag and a small roll-on. On Brussels Airlines they normally allow only one carry-on in Economy. That saved me at least one hour of waiting at the luggage belt in Rome.

The bad news: Caterpillar cabin luggage is "Built to last".. the slogan goes. They probably mean for two years max.



And there you stand, with a stupid look in your eyes, looking at the handle in your one hand, and at your carry-on cart bumping down the escalator stairs.

Am I glad Caterpillar is built to last. If it were not, I would have broken it in less than two years. Happy me.



Now who can give me hints to get those small white tips with springs which block the handle as you extend it back in their place?

Tip: I have as tools right now: a set of car keys, a wooden thingie used to stir my Starbucks Coffee, and a safety pin.

Travelling remains adventure.

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Ryanair wants pay toilets on planes

Ryanair wants to make passengers pay for the use of the bathroom on their planes.

Upgrading (or is it downgrading?) their entire fleet of 737-800s with coin-operated toilets is not an option as Ryanair operates heavily in areas using both the euro and British pound. Thus Boeing was requested to design toilets with doors that open only if you swipe a valid credit card through the locking mechanism, according Ryanair chief executive Michael O'Leary. (Full)

Ryanair denied other options included weighing passengers' #1 or/or #2 post-factum (or post-rectum), and charging $10 per kilogram of deposit as passengers would want to exit the loo. Business class passengers were to get a 10% discount.

Discussions about selling diapers tax-free were also off the table, even though mass producer Pampers said it would venture with a major UN agency, donating 10 cents per sold diaper for a good cause. Ryanair said 'filled diapers' weigh too much and weight translates to fuel consumption. They also suspected passengers would simply share the same diaper to save costs, specifically on flights to and from Holland.

BAA (Budget Airlines Association) suggested a 'fart-o-meter', charging passengers per milligram/m3 of gastrointestinal gas concentration as a viable cost recovery option.
The philosophy behind it, is sound: an electric vent would automatically be activated, when the fart-o-meter indicated a 'red alert' state. The passenger in-situ would be charged the electricity consumption of the fan. Tests however showed passengers preferred to fart in the main cabin rather than in the confined toilet space.

The "Old Farts Syndication" opposed the idea from the beginning, calling in the FFF-'Freedom of Farting while Flying' Act of 1938, forgetting it was only ratified by one Head of State: US President Bush, who mistook the Bill for the one giving extra tax incentives for citizens with yearly incomes of US$10,000,000 and above.


More satire on The Road.

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Aidwork with a twist: Afghanistan bush pilot

Most of us aidworkers who have worked in the deep field, have once upon a time used a flight from UNHAS, the UN Humanitarian Air Services.

It has always amazed me how these people manage the fly to the most remote places, with little or no dependence on technical support or flight control. Often the places are so isolated from.. well from anything, the pilots have to fly low over an airstrip first, to check if it is safe to land: no "people with guns" around? No cattle on the earth strip?

Marie Claire, a women's magazine, published an article about Danielle Aitchison, one of the female pilots of UNHAS flying in Afghanistan.

Take glimpse into an extra-ordinary life of a lady calling herself "just a regular chick".

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Waste of flight capacity

Yesterday evening, I flew from Rome to Brussels. Two Brussels bound flights were leaving at the same time. At adjacent gates.
And even worse: as both were codeshared between Alitalia and Brussels Airlines, both had both an SN and AZ flight number.

I looked up the schedule for the afternoon flights from Rome to Brussels:

13:15 AZ 7438 / SN 3180
(Alitalia/Brussels Airlines codesharing)

15:00 AP 4222
(Air One - now one group with Alitalia)

15:20 AZ 160 / SN 5022
(Alitalia/Brussels Airlines codesharing)

16:55 SN 3182 / AZ 7064
(Alitalia/Brussels Airlines codesharing)

20:45 AZ 7162 / SN 3184
(Alitalia/Brussels Airlines codesharing)

Five flights per afternoon... No wonder most flights are only half full... And then we are surprised airlines go broke, even after millions of public funds are pumped into them? Maybe one should think of rationalizing before subsidizing...

Or maybe I should not complain, and be happy I can always stretch out over three seats?

Picture courtesy InventorSpot

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Do you wear the right T-shirt to board a plane?

Mr Jarrar, a US resident, was waiting to board a flight at New York's JFK airport wearing a T-shirt that read "We Will Not Be Silent" in English and Arabic.

The airline, JetBlue, ordered him to remove his T-shirt saying other passengers felt uncomfortable with the Arabic slogan.

He eventually agreed to cover the shirt and boarded the plane, but he was made to sit at the back of the plane.

He went to court. The Transport Security Authority and JetBlue airlines agreed to settle the case, paying out a total of $240,000 in compensation.

This is not an isolated incident. Last week, a Muslim family was ordered off a domestic US flight operated by AirTran airlines after passengers claimed they were making suspicious remarks about security.

The family members were later cleared by the FBI, but were not permitted to fly with the airline to continue their journey. (Full)

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Rumble: I don't wanna be there.

I live close to Rome's Fiumicino airport, about one mile from the planes' landing path.

As I write this, we have a storm passing by. Lightning and thunder galore as if there was no tomorrow. The windows tremble with every "kaboom".

And still I hear planes landing and remember the terrible landing we made a few weeks ago in a storm like this. I am thinking of the people in the plane I hear approaching this very minute.

I know where I'd rather be. I'm going to bed, and will pull the sheets over my head.

Ah.. and found this on YouTube:

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Rumble: Flying remains an adventure

Updates from The Road's Twitter:

08:30 - At Copenhagen airport... 8:30 and the sun just came up... Ready to fly back to Rome.

09:45 - "This is your captain speaking. Unfortunately, we have been hit by a ladder of the ground crew. Repairs will take an hour."

10:30 - "This is your captain speaking... We are still looking for the spare part." - anyone got a spare wing light for an MD82?



In the end, we took off with a little more than one hour delay. But the adventure was still to come. Approaching Rome's Fiumicino airport, the clouds got thicker and thicker. It looked like we were landing for 45 minutes. Turbulence got heavier, having people "Ohhh" and "Oosh". Plane swing up, down, left, right. Funny to see how much flex an MD82 has.

We got a direct hit by lightning (which was a bit of an anti-climax, as there was not that much of a bang, just a lot of light and a bump as if the plane hit a speed bump).

The final approach showed the strength of the wind as we were crab-crawling sideways towards the landing strip.

The applause for the pilot was well deserved...

More on The Road about travel, airports and flying.

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Picture of the day: Chaos at Bangkok airport

Thousands of travellers got stuck after Bangkok's airport was stormed by protesters.

More Pictures of the Day on The Road

Picture courtesy David Longstreath/AP

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